Being a parent is definitely an enjoyable and rewarding experience, but at times it can also be challenging and overwhelming, especially when things are not going as smoothly as you wish. But then, the point that most parents miss is that being a better parent involves learning and going through a process.
The following tips are designed to hone your parenting skills and make things a little easier for you.
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1. Discipline without violence. Although some still consider hitting acceptable, an overwhelming majority of psychologists defer to the negative consequences of it. Your child may grow up with anxiety issues when hit or learn that violence is the best way to handle a frustrating situation. Even yelling too much, called hyper-correction by professionals, can leave permanent emotional scars on your children, leading to serious problems for them later in life.
2. Avoiding giving in too much. It can be hard to say no to your kids, especially if you feel guilty about other things, such as working late or never having money leftover for them after paying all the bills each month. Consider though that in life, they won’t always get their way and it’s essential that they learn to deal with that fact appropriately and long before they head out on their own. Set your limits and stick with them.
3. Always reach for more patience. Probably the most surprising thing parents eventually realize is the awesome amount of patience they truly have! However; there are times when your patience will be tested and it’s important to keep your cool to produce a favorable outcome as well as set a great example. If you ever find yourself boiling over, step away from the scene and compose yourself.
4. Discipline with consistency. Many parents allow circumstances to define the amount of discipline they employ and this is confusing to kids. Don’t be more tolerant simply because you are in a great mood or less tolerant because you are not. This will also encourage your kids to manipulate, which is counterproductive to the purpose of your rules to begin with.
5. Don’t put too much on them or push too hard. Understand the limitations of your children and that they are only human. Some kids really have a difficult time achieving higher grades or excelling at sports; don’t expect more than they are capable of and always encourage their efforts! Maybe you won’t raise the next Albert Einstein or Bill Gates, but you will have a kid that grows up with self-confidence and pride in who they truly are.
6. Get together often. Time is easily the best thing you can give your children, although it may be difficult to find in these busy times. Try to organize your working schedule so that you have regular time for family and fun. Make a point of going away every once in a while, even if it’s just a day trip somewhere. Let your kids know they are the most important aspect of your life.
7. Make sure they know you love them. No matter what age they are, it’s always great to see a parent and child exchange the words “I love you” to each other. Don’t reserve it for serious or sad times: say it every day! Let them know you love them with your entire being by expressing the sentiment in deeds, with words and as often as they need to be reminded!
Here are Positive Parenting tips Promote Self-Esteem in Your Child
Every parent wants their children to do well in life; they want to inculcate discipline and good habits in their children.
However, it’s a long journey, and during the process the way you speak to your child will also determine whether he/she has a good self-esteem.
Choosing the right words will promote self-esteem in your child; however harsh words can easily demoralize them!
It is normal to lose your cool once in a while, but one needs to remember that as parents your approval counts and in fact your children crave for it. Hurtful words, on the other hand, can easily make them feel bad about themselves, and also make them resent you.
The De-motivators
There is a better way to do everything, and the same applies to parenting as well. Kids do misbehave and at times you really can lose your temper, but then who said that Parenting is easy.
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You don’t have to engage in harsh words with your child and then feel regret or guilt. As parents, you really don’t have to say things like:
“Stop being a brat!” .
“Can’t you do anything right!”.
“You’re so ungrateful!”
As parents who have to dampen your tempers and see the larger picture. Wise parents definitely know how to use the language of self-esteem.
How to Say it Better
As parents, you need to realize that your words do matter to your child.
Everybody has feelings and wants to be valued, and the same applies to your kids as well. They really struggle inside when you hurl angry words at them, which judge their character and capabilities. Worst still, most believe in those the words and tend to give up easily.
So, as parents you need to learn to say things in a different manner! How about saying things like:
“Go to Time Out. Come out when you’ve found 3 ways to act better.”
“I don’t think you understood. Let me help you.”
“Please repeat that with gratitude.”
Does it not sound a lot better? I know it can be a bit difficult when you’re angry, but as grownups we need to learn to do the right things.
Teenage Parenting Tips
Everything changes over time, and the same applies to parenting rules as well. Rules that applied when we were teens may no longer be relevant today. The fact is that teens today are exposed to much more outside influences, be it from TV or from the Internet where there is little censorship. It is very easy to get introduced to drugs, alcohol, and many other risky behaviors, be it at school or elsewhere.
In such circumstances, it is important for parents to reinvent and keep updated with the best parenting practices because your primary job is to raise your children to be independent and mature adults.
Here are parenting guidelines and mistakes that should be avoided when dealing with teens.
Though these suggestions are for parents, they are equally relevant in educational institutions and should be followed by Teachers & Educators as well.
These are based on the latest scientific studies of adolescents, conducted by professors of psychology at various universities.
Differentiate between the Deeds and the Person
Though a positive feedback always encourages a teen, there are times when certain actions, behavior and performances have to be criticized. While doing so it is advisable to criticize the performance and not the person. Though this may sound very easy, this is tricky and you could end up hurting the person. Remember to highlight the positives that will arise of the expected / improved behavior.
Do not Expect Blind Obedience
It is important for you as a parent or educator to encourage children to think and reason, ask questions and not just blindly follow your instructions. On the other hand if your teen reasons a lot, do not get offended and cut them short. Explain the reasons behind your decisions and encourage the same out of them.
Respect the Rules of a Game
Clearly communicate what is expected out of your teens and clearly define the consequences for breaking the rules much in advance. But even more important is that you enforce them and stick to the punishments. Don’t give up easily if your teens become defiant. Be firm without losing control. Don’t let your teens feel that they can get away with breaking rules.
Foster Independence
Teenagers like to push for autonomy and don’t like being micro-managed. Though there is nothing wrong with being independent, the best judge if your teen is behaving maturely should be you and not your teen. You should give them the space to be self-reliant, but Do Set Limits. Relax your rules as your teen demonstrates more maturity.
Attend Workshops
When possible try to attend workshops, whether in school or outside. You will get ideas that can benefit your kids. Schools usually request all the parents to come forward volunterally and help them build a strong foundation for future generation by working together. Meetings are held to discuss various aspects of parenting. As parents, you need to spare your valued time, it will also motivate the school to work better. Hence please devote your preferable time for such meetings.
Stay Involved
Many parents withdraw when their child becomes a teenager, many a times because of their defiance and not because they are showing signs of becoming responsible adults. But it is just as important for you to be involved now and know what’s up with the teenagers today. Even though you may have been teens at some point of time, it is important to realize that teens differ over generations. So do take the time out to know what’s up with the adolescents.
Parenting Lessons from the Longest-Running Study on Childhood
Here are the factors in childhood that will determine their success later in life. You can watch the full video below (originally on TED Talk).
It seems of all the factors, the biggest factor is the role played by parents. The more you spend time with your kids, the more you take interest in their progress, the better they are likely to do in life, when they grow up.
Having engaged, interested parents in the first few years of life is strongly linked to children doing well later in life.
For the past 70 years, scientists in Britain have been studying thousands of children through their lives to find out why some end up happy and healthy while others struggle. It’s the longest-running study of human development in the world, and it’s produced some of the best-studied people on the planet while changing the way we live, learn and parent. Reviewing this remarkable research, science journalist Helen Pearson shares some important findings and simple truths about life and good parenting.
Closing Thoughts
Parenting is a great experience and it can go a lot smoother when you’ve got experienced advice under your belt! Hopefully you have found this article very useful and can apply the tips around your household. Keep learning and keep smiling; this is not a dress-rehearsal!
Life is tough and very competitive. For your children to do well in life, it is important that they think well about themselves, and have good self-esteem. As parents, you should always strive to think about the bigger picture, and come up with creative ways to handle difficult situations involving your kids. Most of the times, a serious silent look from you or calm caring words is all that is needed for your children to act better. You really don’t have to say anything nasty! Remember, your role as parents is to promote character, build self-esteem, and give your children wings for flying high, and this is the easy way to do it.
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